The Undertaker prepared for a historic match at WrestleMania 33 on Sunday, poised to be the first pro wrestler to reach 100 wins on a pay-per-view sine the format’s inception. The Undertaker made his first appearance on WWE programming since January’s Royal Rumble three weeks ago when he showed up on WWE Raw. Braun Strowman called out Roman Reigns, but got more than he bargained for when the Deadman came out.
Rather than engaging Bray Wyatt’s largest son, Taker called out the WWE Universe’s Enemy Number One. Since then, Roman Reigns and Taker have been fighting over whose yard it is because wrestling has weird analogies for overt masculinity. The two faced off in the main event of WrestleMania 33 to be the dominant dude with the wettest hair.
The main event was announced as a no-hold-barred affair as Reigns made his entrance. It lived up to the stipulation, as the fight soon spilled to the outside, where Reigns was chokeslammed onto an announce table before Undertaker got speared through another.
Undertaker introduced a chair into the match, but Reigns’ body armor probably helped him withstand repeated blows to the spine, followed by a chokeslam onto the steel seating apparatus. Reigns also managed to kick out of a Tombstone, probably because his head was protected by his luxuriant hair. Reigns also survived a Last Ride AND the Hell’s Gate. The Undertaker, for his part, kicked out of a trio of spears and a number of Super Man Punches.
Finally, Undertaker tried his famous sit-up and fell over, and Reigns approached him while the Dead Man was on his knees. The Undertaker told Reigns he didn’t have the balls to put him away, so Reigns stood him up, and gained momentum by bouncing off the ropes several times before putting him away with a final spear for the three-count.
After the win, Roman Reigns left while fireworks went off above the stadium. After a long wait, Undertaker sat up again. After the replays, Undertaker was standing in the middle of the ring, once again wearing his entrance gear, and took in the sustained ovation from the crowd. He paused while about to leave the ring, then left his gloves, coat, and hat in the middle of the ring.
He then kissed his family in the crowd, and made his way back up the entrance ramp, where he raised one fist and sank out of sight.
There’s no official word as to whether this will actually be Undertaker’s final match, or final WrestleMania match, but that curtain call certainly seems pretty damn definitive.
In an emotional moment prior to the match, Jim Ross was introduced to the record-setting crowd at Camping World Stadium. The Hall of Fame announcer then proceeded to call the final match of the evening, and perhaps sent Undertaker out with the voice that has called his most famous matches.
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2017
WWE WrestleMania 33 Full Results
– Kickoff Match for the Cruiserweight Championship: Neville (c) defeated Austin Aries. Neville retained the championship after hitting a Red Arrow.
– Mojo Rawley won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Big Show was eliminated early by Braun Strowman. Strowman was eliminated after everyone in the match teamed up to toss him out. Rob Gronkowski got involved, helping Mojo fight off Jinder Mahal to win the match.
– Kickoff Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Dean Ambrose (c) defeated Baron Corbin. Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds on Corbin to retain.
1. AJ Styles defeated Shane McMahon. Shane McMahon survived a Styles Clash, but fell to Styles’ Phenomenal Forearm after missing a shooting star press.
2. United States Championship Match: Kevin Owens defeated Chris Jericho (c) to become the new United States Champion. Jericho’s entrance included a giant List of Jericho and a light-up scarf. Owens pinned Jericho after powerbombing him into the ring apron.
3. Fatal Four-way Elimination Match for the Raw Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) defeated Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks and Nia Jax. Jax was eliminated first via a triple powerbomb from her opponents. Charlotte then eliminated Sasha after sending her face-first into an exposed turnbuckle. Charlotte missed a charge into the corner and hit the turnbuckle herself, allowing Bayley to hit a Macho Man elbow drop to retain the Raw Women’s Championship.
4. Ladder Match for the Raw Tag Team Championship: The Hardy Boyz defeated The Club (c), Enzo Amore and Big Cass, and Sheamus and Cesaro. Before the match began, New Day announced it would now be a fatal four-way and introduced the returning Matt and Jeff Hardy. Jeff hit a Swanton onto Sheamus and Cesaro from the top of a giant ladder while they were lying on ladders, and Matt was able to pull down the belts to become the new Raw Tag Team Champions.
5. John Cena and Nikki Bella defeated The Miz and Maryse. Cena and Bella won after pinning Miz and Maryse with an Attitude Adjustment and a Rack Attack 2.0 respectively. After the match, Cena proposed to Bella.
6. Non-Sanctioned Match: Seth Rollins defeated Triple H. Triple H accidentally knocked Stephanie McMahon off the ring apron and through a table. He was upset, and turned into a Pedigree from Rollins for the loss.
7. WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton defeated Bray Wyatt (c). Bray Wyatt debuted spooky photo projection powers that turned the ring into images of roaches and maggots. Orton won with an RKO.
8. Universal Championship Match: Brock Lensar defeated Goldberg (c). Lesnar withstood several spears, including one through the security railing, and kicked out of a Jackhammer. He was able to hit 10 German suplexes and an F-5 to defeat Goldberg and become the new Universal Champion.
9. Smackdown Women’s Championship Match: Naomi defeated Alexa Bliss (c), Carmella, Natalya and Becky Lynch. Naomi tapped out Bliss to the Slay-o-mission headscissors crucifix choke to become a two-time Smackdown Women’s Champion in front of her hometown Orlando crowd.
10. No Holds Barred Match: Roman Reigns defeated The Undertaker. Jim Ross was on commentary. Undertaker made his entrance by rising up from the middle of the ramp. The two traded finishers until Undertaker couldn’t defend himself, but refused to give up. Reigns got extra momentum and hit a huge spear to put the Undertaker down and win the biggest match of his career.